• 20 May, 2024
• • Judaism

The First Step

Having decided to convert to Judaism, I now had to talk to a rabbi to officially start the process. This got delayed for many reasons; I’ve been very busy with school, my mom was considering moving and I didn’t want to contact a Rabbi nearby only to later move to another congregation, and I had a hard time—as usual—writing the email that would start it all. My mom eventually realized that there would not be any benefits in moving so she renewed our lease for two more years. With that safety, I then decided what my temple would be; I had attended many online Shabbat services from there, and I liked the welcoming environment. To attend Shabbat, I could just have filled out their in-person registration form, however, I thought talking with the Rabbi first would be a better idea. So after months of having the email on the back burner, I finally managed to put it together. I learned that Rabbis are encouraged to make three vigorous attempts to dissuade a potential convert to filter out those who might not have the real intention to become a Jew. Even though I knew that Reform Rabbis don't really follow that practice, I wanted to make a good impression, an email that showed all that I had learned and all that I had done. I sent it the early morning of a Tuesday and within a couple hours I got a response. Rabbi said he remembered my name from some of the online services and that he would love to meet me, so I reserved one of his first slots on Thursday morning. That Thursday I didn't have class, and I had already told my mom that, so I made the excuse that I had an event at school. So far I had not told my mom anything about Judaism, it was a scary thought, but I would have to eventually. So, after a confusion with the scheduled time caused by Gmail, I went to temple for the second time for my appointment—I drove to the park and sat there for two hours. Rabbi welcomed me into his office and he asked me many questions to get to know me. He never tried to dissuade me tho, he only asked if I was familiar with the rising antisemitism. I was expecting that question, I had practiced answering it beforehand with a verse from the Talmud. "What did you see that motivated you to convert? Don't you know that the Jewish people at the present time are anguished, suppressed, despised, and harassed, and hardships are frequently visited upon them?" Yevamot 47a. To which I responded in a note on my phone: "It is what feels right to me, what makes me happy. I know that expressing my Judaism through pride, Shabbat and holidays observance, and fulfillment of mitzvot might cause some people to want to do me harm, but I am not deterred. This is what I want to do because since I began learning how to live a Jewish life and integrating those practices into my life I have felt profound happiness, through every prayer, every song, every service, every mitzvah. That feeling is greater than their hatred." I didn't manage to convey my response that beautifully in person but I tried, and he seemed convinced. He encouraged me to come to Shabbat services in person as best I could and also told me to read a book by Anita Diamant titled 'Choosing a Jewish Life.' He also told me to sign up for an Introduction to Judaism course; he looked one up right there and said the tuition was around $500. I must have looked very surprised because he quickly told me that if I was unable to afford it he might be able to help. And I honestly don't know how I would be able to afford it on my own, however, I just thanked him for the offer and moved on. And that was the whole meeting! However, if I was going to be attending Shabbat services, I would have to tell my mom about my intention to convert to Judaism. After I met with my new Rabbi, I became a Ger, a person learning about Judaism for conversion. Not a Jew yet, it is a whole process that will take at least one year, so I’m exposed to the whole holiday cycle. Shabbat fell the day after my meeting, so that Friday evening I went to temple for the service. Going in person to temple and meeting new people was a very big step, I was however very optimistic about joining the community. The parashah that week was Tazria, perhaps not as memorable as my first Shabbat ever, Shabbat Shirah. I took my siddur and drove to temple. Everything went relatively smoothly since I had attended so many services online, I knew the outline of the prayers and when to stand. Only small details popped up such as moving side to side at the end of Lecha Dodi, bowing, lines that the congregation should respond with, and me awkwardly waving my hand when saying Shabbat Shalom—I did it without thinking but no one else does. After saying Kiddush and Motzi we all went to the social room across the hallway. Rabbi quickly spotted me and began introducing me to people. I met cantor—she sings so beautifully,—the current and future president of the temple and Rabbi’s wife. It was very exciting, I tried my best to be social and I think I succeeded. I sat with the president for the rest of the social hour. A third person sitting at the table began discussing with her the war in Gaza, he was terribly misinformed and their argument went on for a good thirty minutes. She said to me afterward, “Well, now you’ve experienced your first heated debate between Jews.” I had heard of those, I mean, what else the Talmud is! I went home after that, eagerly awaiting the next Shabbat. I arrived early to the next service, the sanctuary is pretty small and there are only four or five rows of seats facing the Ark, so I sat at the back this time. The clergy members were preparing for the service; cantor quickly walked past me and said “Nice to see you again,” patting my shoulders. That gesture made me very happy. I already felt in the right place, sitting there in the sanctuary, but that gesture made me feel part of the community. After the service, a very friendly lady came up to me and introduced herself, she told me that it was rare for someone my age to attend services, and I wound up telling her I was in the process of converting. She lit up telling me that she too was a Jew-by-choice. She asked me if I had already talked to Rabbi and we began talking about how he’s teaching me. Later when we split I saw that Rabbi was talking to her so I thought I’d go over there. Rabbi left as I got there and the lady asked me excitedly: “Do you speak Spanish!?”That’s when I recalled that Rabbi had told me during our meeting that a congregant was from Spain and she was a Jew-by-choice, that he’d like to introduce me to her to have someone I could talk to. She said Rabbi had told her that his student is from Mexico. That was very cool—his student. She told me as she left, “We have a lot to talk about,” and that she’d try to contact me later. That was such a nice encounter, we have not been able to meet again though. And that has been it so far, being very busy with school, for one Shabbat I had to join online again from the school’s workshop. And then I got sick with COVID and I did not attend for two weeks. And when I began feeling better we left on vacation to Greece and Jordan. That one’s going to be an interesting write.